Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III: Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly

Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like

an* ar* chist (an-ar-kist), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and …

i* Pod (i-pad), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.

uri* nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.

No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.