An "absolutely hilarious and singular" (Tommy Orange) collection of "laugh-out-loud" (People) stories about millennials entering the abyss of middle age--from Thurber Prize-winning author Simon Rich, "one of the funniest writers in America" (NPR).

Simon Rich returns with a batch of can't-miss stories in which Super Mario turns forty and is forced to "take-a stock" of his life and how "messed up it's-a become." Goliath struggles to control the media narrative in the lead-up to his death match against David, a small, beloved child. And a long-discarded participation trophy reminisces about the glorious field day in 1993, when he wound up in the arms of a jubilant, asthmatic Simon Rich. High-stakes and heartfelt, Glory Days mourns the death of youthful innocence and hails the beginning of something approximating wisdom.