I.A.M.*: A Common Sense Guide to Coping with Anger

Despite our justified fears of its destructiveness, anger is an essential part of our social life. I.A.M. (Integrated Anger Management) provides a way to take advantage of this by offering a step-by-step guide for 1. keeping the emotion safe, 2. learning to tolerate its sometimes over-whelming intensity, 3. evaluating its often disguised objectives, 4. relinquishing impossible aims, and 5. realistically employing its power to obtain critical goals. Practical and straight-forward, the approach spells out why what works in one social situation may not in another.

Among I.A.M.‘s insights is a compelling explication of the catharsis theory of anger. Getting anger off one’s chest does make a difference, but not the one people think. Also clarified are how effective anger can promote intimacy and why leaders must sometimes be able to intimidate their subordinates. Socialized anger, that is, anger which has not gone out of control or been converted into rage–can deliver potent messages and motivate decisive actions. Merely suppressing, or expressing, the emotion is not the answer; learning how to use it to overcome frustrations, without causing further injury, is.