Tom, Two-Dan $mith (sic) thought his life couldn't get any worse, until a gorgeous alien turns up at his door, and drags him off on a quest to sort out the company responsible for all the troubles in the galaxy.

But as is usual with Tom, what glitters is nothing more than polished coal. His guide has another agenda, using him as cannon-fodder. Taken in by her charms, he follows her directions, surviving by sheer luck and circumstance only, to the very end of Time itself, and discovers a confluence of unimaginable universes and an alien plot to take over the lot.

If that wasn't bad enough, Tom has to challenge a super-intelligent being, created by a brewing accident and a lot of radiation... and our man's not even sober by now.