A spontaneous decision at age 21 transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s number-one girlfriend. But like Alice’s journey into Wonderland, Holly’s plunge down the rabbit hole took her to a world where all was not as it seemed. The fairy-tale life inside the Playboy Mansion-which included A-list celebrity parties and Holly’s own number-one-rated television show-quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies that nearly drove Holly to take her own life.

Down the Rabbit Hole is her introspective account of her time inside the Mansion: the drugs, sex, abuse, infamous parties, and Holly’s real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and Mr. Playboy himself. It is also her chronicle of healing and hope. By telling her story, both a cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Holly reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams-and of finding the life we deserve.