We put some of our favourite dad characters in the ring.

Most Loveable Dad…

[he is] the most marvellous and exciting father any boy ever had.
William (from Danny the Champion of the World)
vs.
…honest as the day is long, reliable, trustworthy and able.
Arthur Weasley (from the Harry Potter series)

Points to Arthur Weasley for his equal opportunities attitude to wizards, his gentle parenting and his forgiving nature. He does, however, have the huge advantage of being supported by the indefatigable Molly. William, on the other hand, is parenting solo. But it’s difficult to overlook his poaching methods: lacing raisins with sleeping-powder with the intention of lodging them in the throats of a hundred pheasants. Bad daddy.

Winner: Arthur Weasley

Best Absent Dad…

Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!
James Potter from (from the Harry Potter series)
vs.
Your Father had an accident there; he was put into a pie by Mrs. McGregor.
Mr Rabbit (from The Tale of Peter Rabbit)

One died by pie, the other by Avada Kedavra; both inspired their sons to become the best and bravest they could be. Tempting as it is to give the prize to Mr Rabbit, as a balm for the ignominy of being consumed by irascible middle-aged gardeners, we know so little about his character that we’re obliged to pick James Potter, who began his life pampered and a bit of a show-off, but ended it nobly as a great friend and protective partner, friend and father.

Winner: James Potter

Best Adventurer Dad:…

I’m Stick Man, that’s me, and I want to go home to the family tree!
Stick Man (from Stick Man)
vs.
We’re going on a bear hunt; we’re going to catch a big one!
Dad (in We’re Going On A Bear Hunt)

Other sticks / dads might have given up in the face of multiple kidnappings, but not Stick Man. Ever true to his strong sense of identity, his constant cry of, ‘I’m Stick Man, that’s me!’ eventually sees him return home. On the other hand, taking the children on a pretend bear hunt, letting them get muddy, wading through water, giving piggy-backs – we love this daddy. Failing to recognise that the bear just wanted to be friends, however, was disappointing. That could have been a teachable moment. Still, adventures with kids beat adventures without them.

Winner: Dad

Best Evil Dad…

A book? What d’you want a flaming book for We’ve got a lovely telly with a 12-inch screen and now ya wanna book!
Mr Wormwood (from Matilda)
vs.
Who told you you might meddle with such hifalut'n foolishness, hey?
Pap Finn (from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)

Pap is drunk, racist, and abusive. Harry Wormwood is similarly vile. But Mr Wormwood destroys Matilda’s library book, and as booksellers we are morally obliged to hand him the crown.

Winner: Mr Wormwood

Best Surrogate Dad (Round 1)…

I is snuggling you very cosy into the pocket of my waistcoat.
BFG (from The BFG)
vs.
In an instant it suddenly dawned on him that Will would be growing up with him. With a great yell of joy he leaped up from the armchair.
Mister Tom (from Goodnight Mister Tom)

It’s at this point that we begin to regret pitching one dad against another – it’s impossible to choose between the loveable giant who blows good dreams into children’s ears while detonating bad ones, and the grumpy old man who turned himself around to give love and hope to a boy who’d had such a difficult start in life. It’s all too much!

Winner: Draw

Best Surrogate Dad (Round 2)…

Hans Hubermann (from The Book Thief)
The Jew stood before him, expecting another handful of derision, but he watched with everyone else as Han Hubermann held out his hand and presented a piece of bread, like magic.
vs.
‘And bring the poor little child. God bless the poor little child,’ I said to your sister, ‘there’s room for him at the forge!’
Joe Gargery (from Great Expectations)

Pretty equal, these two: down-to-earth, decent, courageous when it counts and with the ability to see something loveable in their respective wives. It probably comes down to how much accordion-playing you can put up with.

Winner: Draw

Emily Gale