I'm Tom Weekly. If my life is an exploding chicken, this audiobook is my attempt to glue it back together.

I have a few confessions. I've done a runner from the dentist. I'm petrified of clowns. Giant headlice tried to eat me. A lost sock nearly killed me. And you're not going to believe this, but I was attacked by Library Ninjas when my book was five years overdue. Let my life be a warning to you.

Plus, how to get famous by: 1. Clapping 2. Collecting scabs 3. Knitting