I've been in love with Zoe London from the moment I first set eyes on her. My obsession runs deep-so much so that I have her dorm room bugged.

And that's why I know I have to become Santa Claus. When she agrees to sit on a Santa Claus's lap and have her picture taken as part of a bet, there's no way I'm going to let some other man have the job.

I might be a stalker, but I'm also going to be Santa this year, and I'll give my princess anything she wants.