This is about the (mostly) hilarious, clumsy shenanigans of a British Merchant Navy cadet on his first trip to sea. An innocent lad from the leafy lanes of Surrey during his first voyage from the grim docklands of London, across the North Atlantic to the Jungles of Panama and its canal. Then across the Pacific Ocean to several ports in the Land of the Long White cloud. (New Zealand) and back again. The main characters include me, Chief Clumsy Person. Steven, Assistant Clumsy Person. Cathy, A female of interest to the chief clumsy person. Morella, A female of interest to the chief clumsy person. JoJo and Barry, also cadets but not clumsy. (They had other skills). Various captains, chief officers, crew and party goers. All contributing to the education of the Chief Clumsy Person Readers will recognise all the mistakes, all the awkwardness and all the humour that the characters bring is just the same nowadays as it was in the nineteen seventies and probably the eighteen seventies! My book is about the humour of a life at sea and written in a way, hopefully, that everybody can understand and enjoy? not just the people who now go, or have been, to sea professionally. It contains a quote from Captain E.J. Smith, the Captain of the Titanic. This quote highlights the fact that if one wants to go to sea as a profession, then one must be prepared to live a life of extremes and always, always ... Expect the unexpected. Going to sea for living is not without danger. The sea can be a cruel and unforgiving place and the tragedies and the people involved should not be forgotten. But it is right to highlight the humour, the toughness, the resilience, the professionalism and the stubbornness of the British sailor. Rule1. Expect the unexpected. Rule 2. Learn Rule One