Daniel is gay, bi-polar, HIV positive, and has substance abuse issues. If you know a person with some or all of these various diagnoses, each one must be treated separately, but also as part of the whole person. Especially if you have a loved one with challenges–the truth and soul bearing in this book will benefit you–giving you insights and ideas how you can help. Learn from Daniel’s pain, and learn from his therapist who is a big part of his emotional growth and his acceptance of who he is, and who he can be every day. Laugh along when it is funny, wiping away tears of joys, or when his shadow side shows up and life goes awry, shed tears of sadness. Know what he knows–that with love of his family, help of his therapist, the right medications, and a strong will to be balanced every day, Daniel can live a productive and safe life.

When Daniel was challenged by first revealing, and then living safely with his sexual orientation (and quickly becoming HIV-positive), his rollercoaster life needed to address the complexities of these issues and the role played by his feelings of shame, guilt, fear, anxiety, depression, and self-defeating behaviors. Daniel is willing to be honest and open with his new therapist–and he is also motivated to change. She is always a good listener and so patient, offering readers some piercing insights into Daniel and others like him. Her therapy is Humanistic-Existential based, and focuses on the adult LGBT community, many of whom are HIV-positive, and have co-occurring diagnoses of chemical abuse, (particularly crystal methamphetamine) and mental illness.

The shared telling of Daniel’s story will benefit readers who have a loved one who is dealing with one or several of the same issues. The reader will gain understanding, patience, insights and learn better ways to care for and support their loved one during his time of change, growth, chaos and trauma. We must love the whole person and not focus on his sometimes off-the-wall behaviors. A good therapist will work with the individual and not allow these behaviors to simply identify him. Surpassing the Shame reminds us that we must advance our humanness in an effort to be more open and accepting if one of our family members or intimate community is affected.