Poetry. LGBTQIA Studies. California Interest. I AM, AM I, TO TRUST THE JOY THAT JOY IS NO MORE OR LESS THERE NOW THAN BEFORE is a subtractive memoir, removing particulars such as time and place to reveal the operations of a spirit and the body it animates. Short lyric essays meditate on routines and habits, as well as elusive pleasures like reading and travel. These topics serve as prompts for exercises of attention and examination of its lapses. Deeper into the book, the speaker’s anatomy is pared away, resulting in a voice engaged in direct address, attempting devotion.