You'll never believe me, nurse! But.

• I fancied gratin dauphinois for dinner and decided to peel the potatoes in my bath. I slipped on the soap, and ended up with a massive King Edward up my backside.

• I fell off the roof onto my shopping bag. Now there's a bottle of ketchup stuck in my posterior.

The instructions on my new vacuum cleaner didn't specify that you shouldn't hoover your testicles- Now they're half an inch wide and two feet long. Help, nurse!

Kate Lesage's romp through the wards of the world - from Geneva to New York, Haiti to Antwerp, the teaching hospitals Of Brighton to the star-studded clinics of Paris - will take you to places you'll be glad you've never been.

From her difficult childhood in London's East End to starting her own family and settling down in the French Alps, Kate has experienced some of the best and worst that life and nursing have to offer.

Somehow remaining stoic and straight-faced in every situation - especially whilst removing yet another unsavoury object from another red-faced patient - this book is her love letter to the profession and a warning of its demise. She has a thing or two to say about looking after our NHS, too.

Kate's stories are great medicine and as shocking as they are hilarious . Entertaining, compelling and lively - this book will have you giggling to the very last page, In fact, if you don't laugh out loud... you may just want to check your pulse!