From the bestselling author of Fight Club comes a hilarious horror satire "equal parts saccharine caricature and startling raunch" (Kirkus Reviews) about a family of professional killers responsible for the most atrocious events in history and the young brothers that are destined to take over.

Meet Otto and Cecil. Two brothers who grew up privileged in the Welsh countryside. They enjoyed watching nature shows, playing with their pet pony, impersonating their Grandfather...and killing the help. Murder is the family business after all. Downton Abbey, this is not.

However, it's not so easy to continue the family legacy with the constant stream of threats and distractions seemingly leaping from the hedgerow. First, there is the matter of the veritable cavalcade of escaped convicts that keep showing up at their door. Not to mention the debaucherous new tutor who has a penchant for speaking Greek and dismembering sex dolls. Then there's Mummy's burgeoning opioid addiction. And who knows where Daddy is. He just vanished one day after he and Mummy took a walk in the so-called "Ghost Forest."

With Grandfather putting pressure on Otto to step up, it becomes clear that this will all end in only two ways: a nuclear apocalypse or just another day among the creeping thistle and tree peonies. And in a novel written by Chuck Palahniuk, either are equally possible.