Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dad tell. Here are hundreds to crack the whole family up.

Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered yes to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona.

This comedic canon compiles more than four hundred of the best pseudo-witty quips so that dads can hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as:

Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits! And many other gut-busting groaners for your amusement!

With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the ultimate jokester and the master of all things punny-or just keep it for yourself.