The Princess is getting ready for her ball at the palace of Par Ping. She’s starting to feel nervous. What happens if she pumps or parps or does bum-blasts or toots, bottom-burps, whizpops or poots? That shouldn’t be a problem though, as everyone knows princesses don’t pump…

A new laugh-out-loud new text from Peter Bently, author of Meet the Parents and Dustbin Dad.