During the paternity leave he reluctantly took with his first child, Brian K. Pinaire expected to get a lot done. As a workaholic with absolutely no intuitive understanding of children, Pinaire figured the baby would nap all day, allowing him to be immensely productive away from the office. It’s funny how foolish you are until you become wise.

Not only did he not get much accomplished during this period, he started to feel okay with that, realizing new priorities in his life. A second paternity leave, three years later, reinforced this sentiment, as have his subsequent experiences as the primary caregiver in the home due to his more flexible work schedule.

Sure, he remembers when children’s songs weren’t burned into his brain, when he wasn’t referred to as so-and-so’s dad on the playground, and when two living and breathing deadlines didn’t steal away so much of his time. But he wouldn’t go back. He’s proud to have evolved from a (sometimes) self-centered jerk to a (mostly) self-aware father and husband.

Pinaire’s musings on masculinity, adjustment, anxiety, intimacy, pride, doubt, perception, reality, and everything in between make This Is Not Your Father’s Fatherhood a witty, insightful, and entertaining read for fathers, mothers, and anyone who appreciates humorous depictions of an old sight in a new light.