When Charles Shake Bouchon, professional wheel man, walks out of prison after a three-year stretch for grand theft auto, he’s only got two problems: he’s too nice a guy for the life he’s led, but not nice enough for any other. And he can’t say no.

It was supposed to be a simple errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Illandryan, the dangerous pakhan of the Armenian mob in Los Angeles. Deliver a package to Las Vegas and pick up a briefcase. Only that package turns out to be a wholesome little housewife named Gina. When Shake discovers the recipient is Dick Moby, aka The Whale, an unpleasant 400-pound Vegas strip-club owner, the ex-con decides to free Gina, and they’re out of there, but good thing Gina grabbed the briefcase on the way out. (That’s one quick-thinking housewife!)

Now Shake and Gina are on the run to Panama, looking to unload valuable religious artifacts of questionable anatomical provenance and escape a murderous Armenian thug, a heartbroken ex-linebacker, and two angry crime bosses. Plus, Shake’s about to learn a whole lot of interesting things about sweet little Gina.