This book is excerpts from journal writing by a scholarly teenager moving into her twenties when deep-seated depression begins to override all other ambitions. Memories of sexual abuse as a young child, extensive therapy, difficulties in receiving mental health care, many suicide attempts, extended (and one traumatic) stays in psychiatric wards - all are chronicled in her journals. At the same time, she earned an honours degree in biochemistry and then was refused entry to medical colleges across Canada, all of which increased the terrible vortex into a completed suicide.