If you were diagnosed with a terminal illness today, what would you do with the rest of your life?
People sometimes ask themselves this question theoretically as a kind of inspirational exercise. And most say things like quitting their job and traveling the world, or going skydiving, or any number of things that might make them feel more alive.
But for Amy Lyn Schnitzler, there was nothing theoretical about the question.
Amy was first diagnosed with breast cancer in April of 2016. She was 26-years-old and about to start her graduate studies in opera performance. By November, it had progressed to metastatic; a terminal diagnosis.
For Amy, her diagnosis was everything you might expect - heartbreaking, fear-inducing and painful - but it was also a wake up call. Like many young women, she’d spent much of her life unhappy with herself. She looked in the mirror and only saw flaws. She often doubted her worthiness and suffered bouts of depression.
Then came the cancer, and along with it, more depression and suicidal thoughts, but eventually a newfound sense of appreciation and self-love as well.
She didn’t want to go skydiving or traveling. She wanted to live. Not for adventure, but for herself and those who loved her. And that meant starting treatment her way, postponing graduate school, and learning all she could about staying as healthy as possible-physically, mentally, spiritually.
Throughout, Amy was an active blogger whose powerful writing educated her readers, supported others with the disease, and unflinchingly captured the rawness of the downs and the (fleeting) ecstacy of the ups along her personal journey. These posts and other writings have become My Terminal Life: Cancer Habitation and Other Life Adventures.
Her posts are funny, raw, and honest. They take us from her body shame to walking a fashion show runway in lingerie, and from the depths of her despair to a determination not only to live, but to thrive. Through it all, she portrayed a heroic willingness to be transparent about her experiences so that others might better understand. Amy was passionate, wise, and more self aware than most, and her lively, mischievous, authentic self shines through on every page.
But this isn’t just Amy’s story. In the four years she lived with metastatic breast cancer, Amy became a fierce advocate for herself and others facing similar circumstances. She wanted to combat what she felt to be the misguided pink ribbon awareness message and the common misperception that all breast cancer is treatable or preventable. Metastatic breast cancer doesn’t need more fluffy pink ribbons, she said. It needs a cure. Amy devoted the rest of her life and this book to that cause.
My Terminal Life is for medical students and medical care providers, as well as mental health professionals, who need to be mindful of the complex journey of the human behind the diagnosis. It’s for those living with any deadly disease and the people who love them. And it’s for anyone with questions about their own mortality and what it might be like to grapple with it, as Amy did, eventually facing it with grace, courage, and a whole lot of CBD oil!
