Presenting the one and only Mr Paul Keating - at his straight-shooting, scumbag-calling, merciless best.

On John Howard: ‘The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands on.’ On Peter Costello: ‘The thing about poor old Costello is he is all tip and no iceberg.’ On John Hewson: ‘(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.’ On Andrew Peacock: ‘…what we have here is an intellectual rust bucket.’ On Wilson Tuckey: ‘…you stupid foul-mouthed grub.’ On Tony Abbott: ‘If Tony Abbott ends up the prime minister of Australia, you’ve got to say, God help us.’

And that’s just a taste…